Why Am I Still Up?? LoLoL 

Many times we let small things get in the way of the Destiny that we often dream about, that we often pray about or like in my case that we spend a decade writing  about!!

Recently, I opened up to my business manager and totally shared details of my ongoing saga of the powerful, Sexxxii, brilliant man who captured my heart, first through my creative nature as I wrote about this pseudo relationship between him and the main character of my novel for years.. Then in person, just being him, smiling his beautiful smile, giving to those around him openly, rather freely and then she says, “AniYa, my mother always says, when you pray to GoD for something; believe you will get it and don’t push it away……”

“OMG’, I thought, ‘was she in my head or did she just have more wisdom than I fathomed??!!” Alas, I just realized that I didn’t have to question anything anymore and she was rite!!

Back to how I feel and how when our eyes met across the room, I forgot everything that ever was the matter before.. It was like I knew he was there, standing, chatting, being — him..

Him, the person I saw again after a year, looking ever so amazing and a tad bit dishelved, he didn’t have to be perfect for anyone else, because when I looked into his eyes, this time I saw something different!!

How does he know what goes on in my mind, my dreams?? How does he know the inner depths of mii?? How is it that I would drop everything to be near him, what kind of hold of does he even have on mii??

As I looked beyond the past and waved back, I noticed that words were NOT needed nor much movement..

Is this what LoVe is really like??

Respect, passion, secret messages of darn it’s been a while I just want to hug you.. It’s cool, I see you working the room, I see you doing you!! I’ll lay low for a minute but when I speak, this time it will be intentional..

Finally, I found more truth and naturally it excites mii!! I am more at peace totally, infinitely, he is revealing more to mii!!

Why am I up so late??

The more I’m up, is the more I create!!

  • Stay tuned for much more if what is turning out to be something I am coming to truly appreciate.. It’s ALL about Him & Mii!!

AniYa A.

Advertisements

Did He Know??

Well, I usually do NOT blog about my loveless existence but today I had to let go of a part of  me that has been fighting this uphill battle…… I wonder if he ever knew??

Years ago, when my beautiful cousin Sandy Jeanty (she is the gorgeous one on the left, I am on the right…. people have said we favor one another in the past and I never thought so until I was playing around in my bathroom getting ready for night out, what do you think??) was murdered by her fiance’ it left this hole in my heart and it is NOT just because I couldn’t believe she was gone just like that, here one day and gone the next but it was also because I NEVER wanted to love again, I NEVER wanted to date again NOR did I ever see myself as being married and it was because of the abuse I had seen prior to my cousins death but her situation really had a number on me!!

I ran from relationships, I ran from two marriage proposals and what was most scary was I thought I could run away from me….. I say that to say that the person I once was NO longer lived and it killed me as I wanted so badly to love and be loved but how could that happen when I just knew I would end up hurt too, or even worse I could be killed by someone (my man or future mate for L.I.F.E) who was supposed to be there to have and to hold, through sickness and health, till death did us part!! How could I forget the way I felt that night I heard the news and pretend that I didn’t see ALL the stories in the media re: to domestic violence..??

Did He Know??

How was I supposed to tell him that I was afraid of him and though he seemed like a nice enough guy, secretly my heart raced and my body was uneasy every time we met and spoke……??

It’s been over a decade since my cousin was taken from me and in that time, I wrote a novel; “After ALL the Pain” is a fiction piece that I created and worked on for many years, the two main characters have this love that I actually envy, but then again I wrote it because I want it in my day to day living but I knew I could NEVER receive it because I was NOT ready……

Today, I am ready for the possibilities of LOVE  but I have recently discovered something about those who come into your L.I.F.E, 1. they will either stick around to find out what those little issues are that one tries to conceal or 2. they will string you along, become tired of the non verbal cues but also will lose the desire of being with you because they are truly NOT meant to be with you.. In my case, I wanted to open up, I wanted to share that there was a place I wanted to be right there in his arms, hidden from every aspect of the blatantness of the worlds foolery but he NEVER understood that the words could NOT escape my secret place of security and solitude; ironically enough, he played one game after another and utilized my own dismissal of his attempts to get back at me, “I’m so busy, You know I am really busy these days, Yup, I have been extremely busy with ………”

Well, DUH, I know you are busy but did you know why I was busy??

To you: I only said it out of frustration to be as cool as you.. I only said it because deep down inside I needed an escape from my situation fighting one pain after another, struggling some days to even stay awake as the medications that were being pumped into my system were sooooooo strong that the word drowsy written on the bottles were a complete understatement as to how I felt, I met you just a couple of years after suffering from a blood clot in my lung for crying out loud, from just being told that I would NEED to be on Dialysis possibly for the rest of my L.I.F.E, I met you when I was at my worst – fighting for my right to live again…. I said I was busy because that word actually protected me!!

Years later, you are off doing BIGGER things I could have imagined for you and I am here working on me continuously – matter of fact, I am NO longer in excruciating pain, I thankfully NEVER had to be on Dialysis for my kidney and yes my kidney function is better NOW than ever, I am living on my own in the City I LOVE, working for myself on a company I created through the grace of GoD.. I give back because of my story but mostly because of my Sandy, see while you were running around pretending to be “oh so busy”, I was staying very busy too….. I realized that though you have everything I could have ever dreamed of in a man, you could of ended up being just like the one that took my Sandy’s L.I.F.E over a dozen years ago…… Did you know that when your staff blew me off, it made me stronger?? Did you know when you wouldn’t listen to my voice as you pretended to be engaged in something more important than what I had to say, I would envision more projects and ways to help others out of their situation??

Does he know I will NOT bother him anymore as I finally have let that chapter close and though I may be missing out on something that I have NEVER had, I prefer to exist doing what I LoVe in a state of mind knowing that everything will truly be alright..

Did HE even want to Know??

Ladies (Men too), I am speaking to you who has gone through a battle, you have fought to feel loved again but are still in your situation because you don’t feel good enough to start over?? I am speaking to the one who like me has had to fight for everything you own yet still don’t know how to love what you own or even yourself, I am speaking with the ones who have lost a dear relative or friend to the hands of a monster!! I am speaking to the one who knows that he (or she) doesn’t even know your struggle but he (or she) is still there..

My dearest ones, what ever your situation is – seek help and get a fresh start!! I did through lots omg lots of prayer and going to different seminars, working with Pastors as well as going to church and I am whole again, do I miss my cousin and what her L.I.F.E could have been?? Of course I do, but that is why I am able to share this part of me with you….. Don’t be afraid of LoVe because of what has happened in the past, learn from it, grow from it and conquer whatever fear you have that is trying to stop you from getting it!!

I don’t know if “He” will ever know this and honestly, I don’t think he will care, I have grown a lot in the past few years and because of what was going on for a period of my L.I.F.E with “Him” I now am more confidant, stronger and wiser.. Oh yea, I will be less BUSY too now as I am much Better and more embracing of the possibilities too..

Your Praying Friend,

AniYa A.

 

 

 

 

“The Man Curse” by Raqiyah Mays

Do you think you are cursed in your love life? Or have you had some strange issues happen in your family and you’ve never been the same since? Well, stop everything and read the following:

The time has come and it is an absolute pleasure and honor to write this blog about none other than Ms. Raqiyah Mays who is doing so much and it is a blessing to know her. In the following you will see photos of this Leader from her latest photo shoot where she was one of the women selected for The Limited’s “The NEW Look of Leadership” campaign but also you will learn more about her NEW book which is hitting the world wide web on November 16th and you can support her by buying her book at the following: themancurse.com, barnesandnoble.com, amazon, ibooks, and at Google play.

WHAT IS THE MAN CURSE?
The Man Curse is a self-help fiction novel that explores the phenomenon of generational curses and cycles in families as told through the story of Meena Butler, a professional woman working to break the man curse and become the first woman in her family to marry. Is she cursed? Or is it all in her head?

When Raqiyah and I first met, she had just spoken to a group of women at a Domestic Violence event (it was one of the most amazing ones I have ever been too, there will be another one in May, if you would like more info or to be connected as a vendor, sponsor, to just attend etc. let me know and I will put you in contact with organizers) and that is where I learned of “The Man Curse” as well as her being a Leader for the campaign she is apart of now! What I admire the most about Ms. Mays, who happens to be WBLS‬ 107.5 FM Radio Personality, an Author, Journalist, and an Activist, is her boldness to share what is on her heart as well as on her mind. Friends, I have read the first few pages of her book and I am here to let you know I cannot wait until I get my hands and eyes on the rest of the book which comes out tomorrow!

Shortly after we met, she asked me if I could share my story in a tv interview that we would both take part in, I agreed that it was time to let people know that my favorite cousin, Sandy Jeanty, was murdered by her fiance’ over a decade ago and the pain is still deep, I say that to say, what is so different about Raqiyah is she is helping so many heal. She has taken parts of her story and life and turned it into a piece of literature that reaches the soul! I, for one, have seen so much D.V in and around my younger years growing whether it was via my aunt whom was stabbed by her spouse or again when my cousin was murdered by someone whom was supposed to love her, marry her and live happily ever after with her! To be honest friends, I almost gave up on love and have ran away from many men as I believed that I would be hurt, demonized or even killed. Today, I am taking control back and saying that though there may have been a Man Curse surrounding me and my family, I, you, we can overcome and be happy in love with whomever God has for us.

I close by sharing that I am finally able to open up about some of these deep seated issues I have hidden for many many years, people like Ms. Mays shares these messages in her work because she knows people like me and you need to be freed from these invisible chains of oppression which bound us for way too long! Friends, if you are in a Domestic Violence situation, whether it is verbal, physical (this one is HUGE), emotional, monetary (sometimes your abuser will hold funding and monies from you as a way to hold you as a prisoner), spiritual and more it’s time to GET OUT. I am speaking from experience and I will never forget one of the last phrases I utilized when finally speaking up about losing my own cousin at the aforementioned event, “Remember fam, you are NOT the only ones whom are affected when you are in these abusive situations as you have cousins, aunties, grandparents, uncles and friends whom love you very much besides your children and parents.”

Be safe, love yourselves, reach out to those who love you, or seek help from abuse centers which the police stations near you can escort you too and turn this thing around! Don’t forget to check out the following for ways you can hear Raqiyah Mays speak and see her LIVE.

If you are in these areas, please see the dates and plan on meeting Raqiyah Mays at one of these venues

If you are in these areas, please see the dates and plan on meeting Raqiyah Mays at one of these venues

“There hasn’t been an author in 20 years, since Terry McMillan, to fully express the experience of black women in love and romance. I believe Raqiyah Mays can fill that void with The Man Curse.”
*Karen Hunter, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, best-selling author, publisher, Sirius/XM host of “The Karen Hunter Show”

Raqiyah Mays was selected out of thousands of women to be one of the women chosen for The Limited's new campaign here in the Tri-State area, doesn't she look great??!!

Raqiyah Mays was selected out of thousands of women to be one of the women chosen for The Limited’s new campaign here in the Tri-State area, doesn’t she look great??!!

GoD Bless You ALL,

AniYa A.

Freedom Entertainment Group

President & CEO

The Pursuit of “Happyness”

Sometimes in L.I.F.E we experience certain situations that really take us out of our element, get us in trouble or other times we are fortunate for that moment where we are totally enlightened by a moment that can only happen once..

So, a little less than a week ago I was putting on my eyebrows (LOLOL) when I noticed how smooth and impeccable the liner was; furthermore, I realized it wasn’t my typical one that I had to fight with in order for mii to get that perfected look I was going for!! Then it happened, I had to stop and look at the liner twice and then it ALL made sense……..

It was the Brand NEW Maybelline liner I bought a few days prior and I hadn’t noticed that I placed it in my Burberry make – up bag already!!

Where am I going with this many may wonder, I will tell you!!

What I felt compelled about at that moment was the desire for a look that I could get with any ol’ eyeliner, a look that would make my eyes pop NO matter what, after a few seconds the Lord Ministered, “The Pursuit of Happiness” {which I of course switched in the title to ‘Happyness’ to grab your attention}.. Friends, many of us are on the same wavelength wanting NOTHING more than to achieve the American Dream, if you are from another Country other than America then this should resonate very true to you!! A lot of us (especially mii coming from a Haitian family and background, where I am first generation American, born in Brooklyn, NY) want the good if not great paying jobs, the security of having a perfect credit score so that we can buy that home, we want things like that brand new sexxxii car, the education, the beautiful clothing and those brilliant children who will make us proud in our old age.. Yes, we 9 times out of 10 are after the The Pursuit of Happiness as we attempt to go after our goals though, we often times run into difficulties.. We  may have a plan in my mind and on paper but then the unexpected trials and tribulations arise and we don’t know how to handle them!!

The significance of the eyeliner is simple: I picked up an eyeliner that I thought was the one I already had in my make-up bag but was tremendously blessed when I put on a NEW, more Powerful one, a liner that gave mii more confidence.. A liner that grant it, resembled my old one but was Brand NEW and much much better.. The significance of the liner is that we ALL have the ability to be Brand NEW, we ALL have the ability to throw out the old stuff and BE something NEW!!

Today, as you go out on your journey, try and figure out what you want to get rid of.. See, when we hold on to junk, we too become junky and how many people want to be junky?? I know I don’t wanna be and I have a feeling that you ALL don’t either…… So, do yourselves a favor and add a little NEW to your lives!! I know what I experienced was NOT a mistake by any means and I am so glad I got a chance to live it and share it with you amazing, talented, gifted, strong and compassionate beings whom will read this message today..

Oh yea, Maybe she’s Born with or Maybe it’s just Maybelline!! I just couldn’t resist.. Later peeps!! Love You ALL….. XO

(Stay tuned for more messages that will hopefully Bless You and Give You a NEW Perspective in Your Every LiVes..)

Your Gurl,

AniYa A.